Is this your kind of diet lol?
Stress Diet This diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the day. Breakfast * 1/2 grapefruit * 1 sli...
Stress Diet
This diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the day.
Breakfast
* 1/2 grapefruit
* 1 slice whole wheat toast - dry
* 8 oz skim milk
Lunch
* 4 oz lean broiled chicken breast
* 1 cup steamed spinach
* 1 cup herb tea
* 1 Oreo cookie
Afternoon Snack
* Rest of the Oreos in the package
* 2 pints of Rocky Road ice cream
* 1 jar hot fudge sauce nuts, cherries, whipped cream
Dinner
* 2 loaves garlic bread with cheese large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
* 4 cans or 1 large pitcher of beer
* 3 Milky Way or Snickers candy bars
Late Evening News
Entire frozen cheesecake eaten directly from freezer
Rules For This Diet
1. If you eat something, and no one else sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. When drinking a diet soda while eating a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count as long as you don't eat more than they do.
4. Foods used for medicinal purposes never count. Example: hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
6. Movie-related foods do not have calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.
Example: Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints and Tootsie Rolls.
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories, because of the process of breaking the cookie causes calorie leakage.
8. If you are in the process of preparing something, foods licked off knives and spoons have no calories.
9. Foods of the same color have the same number of calories. Examples: green salad and Key Lime pie, mushrooms and white chocolate.
10. If you eat the food off someone else's plate, it doesn't count.
11. If you eat standing up the calories all go to your feet and get walked off.
12. Food eaten at Christmas parties has no calories, courtesy of Santa.
Soooo funny Jake. That was great. It is so my kind of diet. LOL !!!!!!
Nope. But that made my day!
I definitely like that Diet!!!!!!!!! Sign me Up!!!!!
if only it actually worked
hahaha, that's the one I've used since forever.
that was really funny and i was about choke on what i was eating
LOL
i wish that atcually worked!!
Good diet! lol!
Were you reading my diary again?!
LOL! xD
Excellent text! xD
Have a star from a dieter with an experience *
thats my diet, lmao
Sounds good.
I like that diet, I think…
Hahahaha!! That's definitely my kind of diet, lol! I need to sign up for that one!!!
my goodness wat a diet if i would be able to i d love to follow it !lol! but wat a waste i would look !lol any one who could afford those rule is a b l o o dy lucky person!
great joke though ! obviously its only a joke cant be my reality !:)
YUM! I gained 10 pounds just reading this! lol
lol
funny
Lol i am stealing this one – so funny thanks
LMAO!!! Excellent Diet Advice!!
Wow! This is the best diet ever!
Who wants to loose weight, rather loose the stress!
lol. that was great, it had me giggling. star
lol no cause then I'd be able to keep my husband shaded in the summer and warm in the winter
Star awarded, jake.
Does it really work, cos I need to loose a few pounds!!!!!!!!
Hahahaha! my gym instructor would kill me!